I have always wanted to be one of those people who keeps a diary, you know to have something to look back on when I'm older and see how I felt about things at certain points in my life. However, this plan failed miserably. So instead I'm going to have a go at blogging, it may not be for me but who knows :)

2010 wasn't exactly a brilliant year for me, but I fell in love for the first time but with that I also got my heart broke. I met Gav at my 18th birthday party, he came with a friend of a friend and the next day he added me on facebook. We got chatting and eventually he asked me out on a date, and to begin with I said no. Why did I say no? Well I'm not good in relationships, in fact you could say I'm quite scared of them. I love the idea of being in a loving relationship, but I haven't exactly had good examples of that in my family.

Anyway, eventually I gave in and we went for a meal and then watched a movie. It was a brilliant date, and we went out a couple of times afterwards. The problem is, a few of my friends know Gav and he did have a reputation so they weren't a fan...and let's face it, there is only so much you can take of your friends saying don't go there.

It got to a point where I was sick of people judging and voicing their opinions, so I ended things with him. It didn't take long for me to be pulled right back in and all of a sudden we were in a relationship. Things were brilliant, he was the first boy I introduced to my parents - both loved him. Then out of the blew we broke up, for what I reason I was never really sure.

We broke up in October, and I'll admit it took me a long time to get over him. I didn't stay in contact with him, because it was too hard and then out of the blue he text me on New Years Eve wishing me a happy new year and since then my head has been all over the place. To make matters worse he came into the bar where I work last night, with his friends - who all told me we are meant to be together. He told me he loves and misses me...all while standing with a girl he is apparently seeing.

A few days before we broke up in October I went to see a psychic, and she said that I wasn't meant to be with 'the fair haired boy, and don't go back to an ex and it could be dangerous'. It might seem silly, but I kind of believe in this stuff, so that's playing on my mind. I hate that just when I thought I was over him, he came in and I'm back to square one. Not the new year I was expecting.